| Kudos to those who see through sickness |
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3/22/08 - 8:16 pm
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mood |
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 drained |
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I feel like I got hit by the monster of tiredness right now. Last night was frickin amazing!!
What did I wear to Incubus? Sadly, I didn’t get too dolled up cuz the ’rents got home late. No make up lol I wore my red sleeveless hoodie with a plain white t (I hate that band) under it, red and white striped armwarmers and a long black skirt.
Anyway, the show started at 6pm and guess what time I got to the Waikiki Shell? 6 frickin pm! Milani, Lee, Tina and peanut were waiting for me. We waved and kissed the peanut bye bye and the ’rents took care of him in the van. Didn’t have time to get a shirt...the ones they had were ugly.
Security wanted to search my bags like I had illegal shite, but another security dude said it was ok and let us in. Woo! We got settled in the handicap section while a crappy band did their set. There was poo in front of Lani lol we were looking for something to move it and Tina got up and kicked it aside! She was like, "what it’s dry!" I was cracking up lol
Milani went to the restroom before Silversun Pickups came on. So I was chillin’ with Lee and Tina while I looked for cute boys. =D Then a dude started walking toward us...Lee’s friend Ian. They did the whole macho handshake hug thing and he smiled at me then kissed me on the cheek! AHHH! I’ve never met the dude lol He is so damn cute and funny. I wanted him to stay and sit with us lol When Milani got back...I was like ohmuhgawd! I mouthed it to her cuz he was still talking to Lee. I got to look at him for a bit before he had to leave hehe!
Hmm...I think that’s it for all the pre-show going ons. It’s time to get to the good stuff.
Silversun Pickups came on at like 7pm, played a couple songs then the lead singer talked for a bit. He did his whole intro thing and caught my attention when he started naming off some cities in Hawaii! I was well impressed with his pronunciations. Then he said it was good to be back home and saw his family in Kailua. I thought that was cool. He had the chick bassist say something...she has a cute sweet voice and said "Aloooha!" then he had her say a sentence in Hawaiian..she said it cute. Then, he was like "ok say...Humuhumunukunukuapuaa (our state fish)" she paused for a bit then said "Alooooha!" lol How cute!
It was time for him to get the crowd going again so he asked, "Anyone from Kailua?" and some people cheered..."Anyone from Kaneohe?" and some people cheered...."Wahiawa?" and Milani and Lee cheered for me! He could’ve said any city and he said Wahiawa! w00t!! "Ok this song is for Wahiawa." I wiggled during the rest of their set. =)
It was already dark when they finished, but the moon was so bright and full and just gorgeous!! Damn I didn’t get a pic of it =( The lights went on so Milani made sure I was all cool and comfy before Incubus came on. I could feel the crowd’s excitement just waiting to burst!
A few minutes passed and then...THE LIGHTS WENT OUT!! Brandon walked on stage and we went nuts! The people started crowding the aisle that was to my right. I couldn’t see shite, but when I got a view, this fool stood right in front of me! Lee yelled at him, " ’ey!! Get out of the way she can’t see!" The fool scampered away with his tail between his legs bahahaha!! I love my bro-in-law!! Milani looked at me and I smiled like a dweeb and she was all, "that was hot." lol
The crowd kept moving closer and closer to me..I was blocked from seeing the stage grr! So Lee moved me away from the aisle and I had a perfect view!!! They played the first riff to "Kiss to Send Us Off" and I died lol Brandon sounded amazing! He knows how to move and make girls squeal! Milani, Tina and I were waiting for his shirt to come off and when he finally took it off...I wanted to pee lmao Especially when he jumped around and you could see the sweat fly off his hair.....fyhunbtyd7u <---me being a teeny lol
Milani and Lee checked on me every so often. Then something started happening to me when Incubus came back out for the encore. I couldn’t exhale easily...I had to force it out. I got so light headed and my eyes kept wanting to close, but I kept myself awake by focusing on the perfect creature on stage a.k.a. Brandon "Shirtless" Boyd.lol I was hoping they’d play "Pardon Me", "Warning", "Earth to Bella pt. 1" and "Dig". They didn’t =( It was stilll frickin amaziing though!!
When the Incubi finished lol Milani came over and saw that I was all spacey. Lee got security to walkie talkie the on site EMT’s They were at my side in a flash! Milani was suctioning me in case there was a plug, but there was nothing. So Kimo (emt) put me on 2 liters of supplimental oxygen. I asked to have my chair reclined and that did it! They were asking me questions and I responded well. They checked my vitals and hung around ’til I was ok to leave. John and Kimo were total sweethearts and we thanked them over and over lol The ’rents have no idea about the paramedics so keep it on the down low =P
I got home totally knackered (tired as hell), but it was a blasty blast woooo!!
Right..I’m done. x3
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| The Misadventures of Jeni |
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10/11/07 - 8:52 am
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mood |
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tired |
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music |
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-KoRn, Throw Me Away |
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I had a very very very eventful day yesterday and not in a "yay I had so much fun" kind of eventful...frick!
My dad took the day off to take me and Barb to my trach change appointment. Just when we were aobut to get into the van, my dad lost the key. Nice timing, right? He found it eventually and we were off.
I have never felt so carsick in my entire life! The van shook the whole damn way to the hospital! It has never done that before...poor thing is so old. Two things I worried about: Barb getting carsick and hurling because she gets motion sicknessy so she takes dramamine. I was thinking oh frick, please let the dramamine keep her unbarfy lol and the other thing was, PLEASE VAN, DON'T FALL APART! The shaking made my brain and eyeballs bounce oh and the boob lmao My corset started to ride up and it was really hurting me. I waited 'til we got there to have it adjusted. Oh man, the pain was awful...
AT LAST! WE MADE IT! My dad zoomed me into the hospital and I felt the cool rain on my skin. Barb parked me and tried to fix my corset while he parked the van. It usually takes two people to adjust it and I couldn't wait for my dad! Barb got it comfortable enough for a bit, then the pain came back grrr! A lady saw us and asked if we needed help...sweet, right? FINALLY the pain was gone wooo!
My dad came back and we went up to the ENT Clinic...got settled in a room to wait for Dr. Cable hehehe!! We didn't wait long. I had my chair reclined and ready for him to check out my trach. Reclining made my back more comfy. Anyway, he did his thang and said my stoma looks great. I don't remember the conversation exactly, but I remember I threw in a "ow! *giggle*" and a "frick!" lol Before he left the room he was like, "If you have any problems or questions, you know where I live." I thought to myself No I don't. Must...have...his address while I nodded and smiled lol I knew what he meant though.
So yeah, it was time to go home. I decided it'd be better to keep my chair reclined for the ride home so my corset wouldn't ride up again. WRONG DECISION!! My vent tubing was dragging on my wheel and it got a hole in it...frick. My dad tried to put tape over the hole...um no! That crap doesn't work. What is it with guys and tape??
He went to the nearest office to get someone to page an RT. He came back and said that they're paging RT. I was concentrating and breathing on my own. Barb had the ambu-bag ready just in case I got tired which I did and she bagged me. There was a guy in uniform walking by with his son (he was so damn cute lol). The guy stopped and asked if he could help in any way...Barb explained our situation and he went to get help too.
The lady that my dad talked to in the office, came out and told us that she paged the Rapid Response Team, ENT Clinic and RT Dept. Um...I wasn't lying there bleeding to death!! I NEEDED A NEW FRICKIN TUBE! lol
The first one to come down was Dr. Cable and a nurse holding a new trach. Oh man, he was like my knight in a white coat lol Barb told them the situation and some other chick interrupted and said the police are on the way...omg! Wtf can they do?? I mean, unless some lunatic held my tube at gunpoint and shot a hole in it, then yeah call the popo lol Anyway, Dr. Cable told her, "It's alright...she's fine I'm her doctor." He suggested that we go back up to the ENT Clinic so his people can keep an eye on me 'til an RT came. So Dr. Cable bagged me while Barb pushed my chair. I must say that they were so awesome and I had a nice doctor to look at on the way hehehe!
We waited at ENT for 10mins...the RTs came and took us up to their dept, got me a new tube and voila!! I was good to go. I saw Fin while I was there and felt better.
Got home all tired...still am so I'm outtie!!
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| If I could escape and recreate a place that's my own world |
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8/26/07 - 4:16 pm
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mood |
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 ecstatic |
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music |
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-Gwen Stefani, Cool |
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You are about to read a really long entry about the Gwen concert. I'll try to keep the fan-girliness to a minimum lol I can't guarantee it so be prepared...
*SCREAMS* I LOVE GWEN!!! Omg I wanna have her babies!
lol Ok ok I'll get on with it.
The plan was to leave the house at 5:30pm and meet up with Milani at the Blaisdell. This was going to be a huge night for me. Ever since I got put on a ventilator, my outings have been limited to daytime so this was a totally different thing for me. I mean it was my first concert and my first time out at night with Milani and Barb since I got trached. My dad was all nervous about getting me there without Barb so she did the most awesome thing. After she got off work at noon, she came back at 4:30pm to help the 'rents out and got me all ready. I totally <3 Barb! She also made me feel less nervous.
My mom stayed home and Barb rode with us. Frickin a it was so hot in the van lol Anyway, we got there early, found parking and checked out the scene while we awaited Milani's arrival. There were some skanky arse girls walking around like I know I'm soooo hot *barf* I'd rather not look at flabby ass cheeks hanging out...I mean come on! Have some consideration! Think about the little kids who have to walk behind you, for frick sakes! lmao
That's pretty much what Me, Barb and Lani did while waiting to get in. Ah the privilages of being disabled lol We got to go in first! I totally spent the money my dad gave me! $120 and all that was left was 10 bucks...oopsie!!
At last, it was time to find our seats! A security guard led the way and it was like dark angels starrted singing as we entered the arena lol He made sure we were all settled and told us that he'd check on us. How sweet, right?
We were in section BB which was about 15 rows from the stage, I think. Lani and Barb were worried that I wouldn't be able to see the stage. I was like "I'm here...it's good enough for me and I can watch the screens." The crowd started piling in and the stage was less visible at that point. We continued our search for skanky girls and laughed so much. Then...the ultimate sight came walking by. A couple dressed in nothing but GOOOOLLLLDDD! The dude was wearing renaisance-ish pants...you know with the crotch flap *dry heave* lol and gold boots! I about died laughing! It was horrid!
Oh! There was a movie star in the crowd...Jeremy Piven. He's rather cute in person =P And yes, skanky girls crowded him lol Poor guy.
It was almost 8pm when Hoku (opening act) got on stage. The crowd was seated during her set so I was able to see between heads. Not that I'm crazy about her or anything...it was her guitarist that me and Lani stared at lol He looked like Ryan Gosling! During her last song "Perfect Day" (it's been in commercials and TV shows.) she was singing a lyric that goes something like On this perfect day nothings standing in my way....her mic died! lol Ironic, indeed and so funny.
There was a long intermission and the arena was packed! Barb and Lani made sure I was breathing good and sitting comfortably before Gwen came on. A few minutes passed and the lights went out. The crowd went wild! Everyone was on their feet even before the music started. Her first song was "Sweet Escape"...Harajuku girls were running up and down the aisles being chased by hot male dancers dressed as cops. I made it sound like a Chip n Dale show or whatever lol It wasn't.
Gwen got on stage and the crowd went wild again! All I could see were butts...tons of them! I tried looking at the screens, but there were heads in the way. Lani was standing and trying to get pics for me. At that moment, my heart sank and I looked at Milani...I held in my disappointment. I didn't want Barb and Lani to see me cry...
After she finished "Sweet Escape" an usher went up to Lani and said something to her...next thing I knew, we were following him down the aisles. Some people smiled at me as we followed him. He kept walking and walking...AND THEN I about pissed myself...HE MOVED US TO SECTION H!! The stage was right there! We screamed with excitement. OMG IT WAS FRICKIN AWESOME-AMAZING AS HELL! We were so close that the base gave us irregular heartbeats!! I was dancing and screaming and smiling and singing the whole time! Gwen smiled at me a lot while I sang along *screams* lol Barb helped me wave at her a few times too =D
OMG SHE IS SO BEAUTIFUL IN PERSON!! Milani got some really awesome pics for me...I need to upload them. Man...that was the BEST NIGHT OF MY ENTIRE LIFE!!
We talked to the security guard after the show and I thanked him for being so awesome! I didn't get his name, though =(
I was so tired on the way home, but it was soooo worth it. I thanked everyone for getting me there and just being so amazing. I can't stop smiling.
Well, I think that's it! I'm still trying to recover lol 'Til next time, my lovelies! *mwahh*
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| Feels like the weight of the world |
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8/9/07 - 10:10 pm
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mood |
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 accomplished |
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music |
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-Blaqk Audio, Stiff Kittens |
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Alright, so I finally made myself unlazy enough to write about Tuesday. I had 2 appointments to go to so it was a busy day...
Before I get into all of that...I have to say that a lot of people have been mistaking me for Sherry Gervacio http://the.honoluluadvertiser.com/article/2007/May/22/il/FP705220306.html
lol It's really weird when random people tell me that they've seen me on the news or read my book. It's starting to annoy me lol Anyway, now that that's out of the way...
The first appointment was at 11:45am with my nutritionist and we got to Tripler a bit early, but it was cool. There was a jewelry stand on the way to my appointment...I was like "Oooo shiny" lol My mom let me get a ring and it's gorgeous! Even the name of the stone sounds cool...Mystic Topaz! My birth stone is a topaz so SCORE for me. A mystic topaz is way prettier than a regular topaz...or as I like to call it, the crystalized pee stone. Yeah, I know I'm a dork, but I don't care!
Anyway, I met my nutritionist for the first time. She's a total sweetheart! Her name is Anna Lee and she knows her shite. Dr. Mulreany looked out for me and referred me to the right person. I'm still pretty sad that she had to move, though. =( I have yet to meet my new pulmanologist...I hope he's just as awesome as she is!
Ok back to my visit...I'm officially on a diet now...yay! I'm on 3 cans of that Jevity crap instead of 4 so hopefully I'll lose some weight. I have a follow-up with her in a couple weeks to see how I'm doing with the change.
Next appointment: the trach change
I'm not gonna go into detail about it because it's the same as all my other changes except that Dr. Cable let the nurse who was helping him, put my new trach in. After the change, Barb told him that I was having trouble hearing out of my left ear lol He checked it out and was like "You have a lot of wax build up...let's clean it out." He busted out this little suction machine thingy and got all the wax out...it tickled like whoa! After he was done he made us crack up so bad..."We can make a candle out of all that wax...like Shrek" lol
I can hear so much better now and my music sounds so awesome! =) Speaking of music...16 more days 'til Gwen Stefani!!!
Hmm...I think that's it so I'm out!
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| Sometimes beginnings aren't so simple |
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7/7/07 - 5:29 pm
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mood |
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drained |
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music |
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-Linkin Park, Shadow of the Day |
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Alright...so you all must be so surprised that I'm updating more often, eh? I don't really talk to anyone anymore. No I'm not being all Feel sorry for me because I have no one to talk to lol I understand my friends are busy. I mean...most of them are just getting their lives in order and I'm uber proud of them. Of course I miss them, but I'm always around or I try to be...
Anyway, I've been feeling weak a lot this past week. I didn't even get up in my chair! I feel like I'm backsliding...I usually force myself to get out of the funk, but I don't know why I didn't have the energy to do so. It could be my mental health that's affecting me physically. I'm letting my mind get to me and I shouldn't!! Ugh I'm so annoyed with myself...I was doing so well. I'm not gonna let that happen again...even if I feel like crap, at least I can feel like crap while sitting up in my chair lol
I have an appointment on Tuesday to meet my new doctor...should be fun. I might go visit the boys in the respiratory dept =P We won't be taking our van though...I have reservations for a van to pick us up...it's pretty much like having your own chauffer lol
BUT MY DAD SAID OUR VAN IS FIXED!!! I'm so getting out of this insane asylum-like place I call my room lol Movies, shopping and tattoos, oh my!
Yup yup yup! I'm done for now. Later, my sweets!
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| 12 weeks today |
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7/2/07 - 9:16 am
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mood |
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drained |
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Gah! I hate Mondays!
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| And this just feels like spinning plates |
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6/30/07 - 2:07 pm
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mood |
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 bored |
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music |
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-Radiohead, Airbag |
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Yeah, I'm super bored right now so I thought I'd update on random going on's in my life.
For the past 2 weeks, I've been forcing myself to get in my chair and stay up in it for as long as possible. It wasn't easy to do. Before everything happened in '05, I was sitting up, driving my chair, breathing on my own, talking and singing. Oh God...how I miss singing! Anyway, most of that has changed drastically...the only things that remain are my mind, soul and the little strength I have in my right hand/wrist to work my mouse. My voice is getting a lot better, though. It's almost to the point where I'm able to control it. I get lucky sometimes where my voice is so clear and strong. I hate that I sound like smoker, but eh I'm still working on that.
So yeah, back to my sitting up...I go 3 days in a row for hours and hours during the day. That's a huge step or shall I say roll, in my progress. I'm so ready to see Gwen Stefani in August! That has been my motivation.
My arse hurts by the end of the day, but I finally feel like I'm moving forward instead of staying in the same spot.
Hmm...what else? New tattoo coming pretty soon. I wish our van would work...I need to get out the house more.
Um...I think that's it. I'll have more to write about soon, but until then I'm out!
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| My brain says I'm receiving pain, a lack of oxygen from my life support, my iron lung |
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6/6/07 - 9:11 pm
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mood |
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tired |
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music |
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-The Birthday Massacre, Broken |
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Alright, no more updates about my emoness over the boy. It has been 8 weeks now...I still miss him, but whatever! I have more important things to write about.
I finally got out of the house last week to do something fun! I went and saw Pirates with Barb. Love the movie like crazy! Jack the monkey is the shite! lol You know you're watching an awesome movie when you don't even realize you can't breathe right. Yup! That was me...by the time we were on our way home, everything rushed at me. Headache, nausea or as I like to call it, the vomitous feeling lol Man, I was sickly and weak, but it was so frickin worth it!
In other news...
I had an appointment today to see Dr. Cable (ENT Guru lol He's so awesome) because I've been having issues with my trach. Not being able to exhale is just...well, a bunch of crap! lol So he did his usual...putting the scope down to check my airway and I got to see it on the monitor. It was pretty rad! He said everything looked good, but he wanted to change out my trach anyway. I usually get it changed every 10-12 weeks and it's only been 8...
The whole thing went well...a little bleeding, but that's normal. It helps that I trust him and the fact that he's so dreamy lol I hung out in the room for a bit just to make sure I could breathe ok. Everything was fine.
We had some time to kill before the van came to pick us up...so I was like "Can we go to the Resp Dept and see my boys?" lol Omg! I was so stoked! Sgt Russell paged Finees to come and see me lol Everyone knows I like him >.< lol Sgt Becker was there too...they paged him. Right when Fin walked in...the first thing he said was "I thought I smelled something when I came in" lmao I was like dude shut up lol Becker attacked my feet and tickled me to death lol I had fun just seeing everyone...I missed them so much!
Anyway, got home tired as frick and passed out in 10 minutes lol I'm still tired and it took every bit of little energy I had to write this update.
Until next time my pretties! I'm out.
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| A very long entry....make sure you have 2 days off to read this lol |
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10/19/06 - 8:57 am
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mood |
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 content |
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music |
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-The Dresden Dolls, Bad Habit |
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I've had a pretty eventful week so far and it all started on Sunday. It was like 6:45am when I awoke from a weird dream which I'm not at liberty to discuss because I'm too lazy. I fell back asleep for I don't how many minutes when all of a sudden my bed started to shake! My mom was at my side in a flash! It was super weird...my bed was the only thing in the house that moved. I forgot to say that we had an earthquake, didn't I? lol It sounded like my bed was possesed, no? About 5 minutes after the shaking, stopped we got a call from Milani asking if we were ok...BAM!! The power went out! If the earthquake happened in like June of last year, my parents wouldn't have to worry about electricity, but seeing as how I'm ventilator dependant and all electricity is key. I have a backup battery that lasts for 8 hours and the vent itself has an internal battery for 45 minutes. My mom immediately hooked me up to the battery. Poor thing was rushing around, but I stayed calm so she wouldn't get scared. The phone rang again while she was trying to hook me up and it was Milani. She said she was coming over. to make sure we were ok. I have the bestest big sister ever! My dad was at work when it happened, but he called Respiratory Home Care or as I like to call them Respiratory Shit Care lol Yeah, they supply all the stuff I need for like my vent and stuff. They really need to stop effin around and get organized. I know I'm not the only vent patient on the island, but geez!!
Anyway, my dad called them to ask for another backup battery in case the power didn't come back before 8 hours. You know what they told him? "We don't have extra batteries. Take her to a hospital and plug her in until the power comes back." How unreliable can they be? My dad didn't bother to argue because he hates dealing with them. They Suck Butt! mmhmm. lol
It was 11 when my dad came home and decided to take me to Wahiawa General Hospital. Can I just say that I don't like that hospital? The people who work there are absolutely clueless!! I was sad the whole drive there, but I went to my happy place like Milani told me to lol We got to the hospital and some betch was like "No you can't leave her here mehmehmeh blah" and then a doctor came in and shut her up. BOOYAH!! If I had the strength to lift my arm up, I would've given her the finger as a "thank you for your hospitality" lmao They got me plugged in, but I had to hang out in the hallway. It wasn't even busy...eh I was just glad the 'rents didn't have to worry anymore. I started worrying about all my peeps and hoping they were ok. Right at that moment, guess who walked into the ER? CANDICE & LEIGH ANN!!!! I was so happy to see them!! I guess my dad introduced them to someone working in the ER and it was like TRIPLER was the password to a treasure filled cave lol They immediately moved me out of the hallway and into an air conditioned room...aahahaha!! Score! Candice & Leigh Ann hung out with me for a few hours....joking around and eating candy. They helped the time go by faster.
After they left, it was just me and my mom. I listened to the radio waiting for DJ Pixie to announce that power was back in Wahiawa. It felt like forever and a day. My clothes were going out of style! Finally...at 7pm the power was back. Of course, the van decided to be a butthead and gave my dad a hard time. He got it to work long enough to get me home.
The lifter stopped when my dad was unloading me and I was way too high and heavy for him to carry down. So we called for reinforcements lol Our neighbor, Larry and his sons who are quite the cuties if I may say so lol I can't believe how big they got...I feel ancient. Anyway, got inside and into bed. Relieved and happy to be home.
Alright! Onto the next event on Tuesday, October 17, 2006
( Is that a tattoo? Tattoos are from devil )
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| It's just a breath away. You can breathe today. |
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10/12/06 - 10:24 pm
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mood |
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 dorky |
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music |
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-Aborym, White Space |
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I went to my trach change appointment yesterday. I was so grouchy when I woke up lol Yeah, I had to wake up at 6:45am for a 9:40am appointment. I didn't even have music which added to the grouchyness. Wtf, right? Only reason was that Tradewinds limosine service or something was picking us up(Mom, Barb and I) at 8am. No, we didn't ride a limo lol they have vans with lifters in them. You must be wondering...Why didn't she just use her own van? Well, I'll tell you...my dad decided he didn't want to take the day off after he found out mom was off. I was a little annoyed because I only found out the night before. Gahhh!! C-O-M-M-U-N-I-C-A-T-I-O-N would've been nice!
Anyway, I got all fresh and so clean clean lol Mom and Barb got me into my corset(brace) and dressed me all cool like and I was in my wheelchair at 7:30am. I decided that it was a good time to go to my trach change in my wheels lol I can sort of drive better now...still working on that crap. Got loaded into the van and we were off! The driver, Bob, was really nice. Very friendly and stuff. By the way, he's so local guy kine lol Instead of saying "Let me help you drive up the ramp and park your chair" or something...he was like "I get 'em" LOL Funny stuff right there!
We got to Tripler at 9 which gave us plenty of time to play around. I got a new ring at the little jewelry stand...I wonder if the guy remembers me lol I'm pretty much a regular customer. After I got my ring...mom wanted some Frito's so we went to the shoppette lol Then it was up to ICU A!! I saw Mitchell!! and Jon!! and Dr. Hack!! I was stoked like whoa! I had a little chat with them...Jon & Mitchell are coming to the party for sure...hopefully Jon won't be too sloshed from his party lol Dr. Hack has to work, but she said she's gonna try to come by. I hope she can come cuz she's cool lol She hung out with me the night before I left ICU A....she did my nails too!! I mean, she's a DOCTOR!! and she took the time and kept me company. I was really really sad to leave...lol I still feel homesick. Yes...homesick! That place became my second home and everyone there is family to me. Gah I better get back to my adventure to Tripler before I start bawling like an idioteque (hehehe like how I incorporated a Radiohead song title there? Yeah I know I'm cool lmao)
It was getting close to 9:40 so we made our way down to the ENT clinic...now remember...I'm driving myself the whole time. We passed by some vending machines and it was like a magnetic force was drawing me away from my route. In other words, my hand got weak and I lost control which resulted in me getting hit by a vending machine LOL Man it was frickin funny as heck! Good times Good times. Barb laughed at me and helped me get my arm back in place. I'm not gonna say what happened in the elevator lol Fine....I only scratched the left corner of the back of the elevator lol That's all *smile*
One thing I love about the ENT Clinic besides Dr. Slut boi (his generated Goth name)...I mean Cutie errr Cable lol Yeah, Dr. Cable. I love the ENT clinic because I never have to wait to be called. Llike....there's no time to spread out a blanket and have a picnic or put up a tent and start a bonfire lmao It's more like a drive thru at midnight for a french fry craving lol If that makes any sense lol By the way, the guy who called me in totally said my name perfect. None of that Jenivive crap lol
I got settled in a room and I didn't bang anything....except the door frame lol It came out of nowhere! Anyway, waited a few minutes and Dr. Mulreany popped in! Yay lol She was happy to see me up in my chair =) It's fun being a brat to her because she's cool like that! She was teasing me because I was freaking out about the pain. Something like..."You're freaking out about the pain and yet you want tattoos and piercings" lmao She listened to my lungs and we talked about my health and if there are any changes. By the way, I'm in good health. Dr. Cable finally came in and I needed a fan lol He's so cute and sweet!!
After Dr. Mulreany left, it was time for the trach change. Dr. Cable put on this light headset thing and I giggled at him. He was like "I know I look silly...you can laugh at me. I'm ok with it lol" I'm not going into detail on the change because it was pretty much the same as last time except less bleeding...woo!! He got so close to my face. Just one more inch and I could've kissed him *gasp* I didn't say that lol
He said my trachea looks healthy and pink =) And that we're doing an excellent job with keeping it clean. w00t! Props to Barb wire! lol Oh! Dr. Hoffman popped in after everything was done. She's my awesome psychologist and she was really happy to hear that I've been getting out more.
Everything went by so fast, but it was nice to see everyone. I'm so relieved it's over. It's gonna happen again in 12 weeks =( That's too long of a wait to see Dr. Cable lol
Alright, I think I'm done. My arm is all achey from driving like a maniac so I'm outtie!
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| I'm listening to Justin's new cd lol |
[ | |
9/13/06 - 12:00 pm
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mood |
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content |
] |
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music |
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-Justin Timberlake, My Love |
] |
The subject doesn't really have anything to do with what I'm going to write about. I couldn't think of a clever line because I'm still a little tired from yesterday.
So what caused my exhaustion? Well, I went out and shopped like the world was going to end lol Yesterday was a huge leap in my slow recovery, but I'm so getting there. Before yesterday, the only way I wanted to go out was on the lying down chair my dad made for me and it was a little embarassing. So it was time for me to get back into my baby(motorized wheelchair). Barb and I planned a venture out into the world past Mililani Town Center, which is where we usually go for a movie. I was a bit nervous about going to the mall in my wheelchair, but I had awesome support from Barb, Leigh Ann, Candice and Nikki. They rawk!
We (the 'rents, Barb and me) got to Pearlridge and the plan was to meet up with Leigh Ann, Candice and her sister-in-law at Hot Topic. I had trouble driving my chair and it was a bit frustrating, but I didn't let it get to me. The automatic doors opened and it was like dark angels started singing when I saw the Hot Topic sign. It was so beautiful lol Can you tell it was my first time going to the actual store? I was so overwhelmed by the fabulousness of everything in there. I wanted everything! lol There was one particular dress that caught my eye...gawd it was gorgeous, but I didn't get it. Honestly, if I did get it, it would just sit in my closet because I don't go out much and it would be ridiculous to wear it to my appointments. No one at the hospital is there to make a fashion statement lmao So yeah, Leigh Ann and Candice were there when I was debating to get it or not lol I left it at Hot Topic and we moved onto Burger King lol Everyone was hungry...I got to eat french fries!! I was in heaven *dreamy sigh* lol
After everyone was done, we went to check out Claire's! Yay for jewelry! Let's see, I got these cute faery danglely earrings, a beautiful cross choker, a spiffy bracelet, a tiara lol yes I got a tiara...you'll find out why very soon. I also got a gorgeous thumb ring because I've been looking for one for ages. The last thing was a hot skull scarf to hide my trach or just to look spiffy. I don't really care if my trach shows lol So the reason I got all of that stuff was because I had my paws on some angel wings that I've been looking for and wanting so badly, but my mom told me to put them back. I was sad so I made her get me all that jewelry to make up for the wings lol Booyah! Candice, of course was show me random funky stuff on purpose...it was frickin funny. omg Barb bought such a cute purse...its so adorably frilly and ruffley. It's a very soft beige color hehe. It looks cute on her. My mom found some comfy house slippers lol they're white and sparkley. Leigh Ann got some pretty jewelry that sort of looks victorian...very classy. Man...Claire's totally scored with us lol
After we emptied out Claire's, We stopped at the little Proactiv kiosk and got me some toner cuz I ran out. Then it was off to Sam Goody...BAM!! Justin's cd screamed "BUY ME, JENI!!" and I did lol I got Flyleaf's cd and a HIM cd (I'm trying to get all of them because their music is hot lol). I finally got copies of "Pride & Prejudice", "She's the Man" and "The New World"...and then, Barb showed me a James Blunt dvd and I had to get it! I love him *dreamy sigh* I tottaly forgot to get Thom Yorke's cd and Blue October's cd for Milani...damnit! I'll get them next time. Maybe we can check out Waikele cuz they have a Border's...I dunno we'll see. Candice's sister-in-law was getting tired so they left, but it was cool getting to hang with them.
Anyway, we went to Wet Seal and I went straight for the black and red section. Spotted a saucy sheer black lace top and a red cami to go under it. Yes I got them because I'd actually wear them. I also got some black pants with white pinstripes...they're so cute!
Went over to Suncoast to find dvds for Nikki, but noooo lol Couldn't find shite..grrr.I'm still gonna look for them. I need to start gathering Christmas presents for my peeps lol
So after all of that, I started getting tired...that meant it was time to go home. As we were leaving to go out to the parking lot, we passed by the Cookie Corner and there was this skinny skankyarse lady...I mean gawd! Why not just walk around naked? Geez it was disgusting lmao Leigh Ann made a comment and I about died laughing and set off my vent alarm lol Good times.
Got out to the parking lot and waited for my dad to bring the van around. We took some pictures while we waited and this car came vrooming by and the guy yelled "Hey Leigh Ann!!"....OMG! It was Mitchell!! I have a habit of calling him by his last name lol I was so happy to see him that I almost cried lol He's like one of the coolest and sweetest RT's ever and I missed him so much. Hehe he said i looked like rockstar. Awwwww!!
My dad finally came around and I had to get loaded up into the van. Leigh Ann came in and kissed me goodbye and Mitchell did too. He said he's gonna try to come by and visit me..yay!
Finally got home and into bed to chill for a couple hours before getting on to tell Nikki of my adventures. Man I was up in my chair for 5hrs!!! I totally beat that 2hr crap!! I had a blast and I wanna do it again now that we know there's a tattoo/piercing parlor across from Pearlridge. w00t!
Ok I think I'm done lol
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| Oh! I'm ready for it! Come on bring it! |
[ | |
8/11/06 - 10:04 am
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| [ |
mood |
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 hot |
] |
| [ |
music |
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-Assemblage 23, Cocoon |
] |
I woke up on Wednesday at 7am thinking it was going to be an easy /lazy arse day. Dude was I so wrong! lol My dad called home around 8am or so and talked to Barb. I thought it was about picking up my med refills, but it wasn't. He told Barb that he made the appointment for my trach change....I was getting myself prepared, thinking it was next week, but Barb was like "your dad made an appointment for 1:40 this afternoon" I was like what? I think I heard you wrong lmao Oh man...you talk about last minute and shite! I usually have time to prepare mentally, but nope I only had 4hrs!
I needed music quick and Fuse was my pal. Cobra Starship's "Snakes on a Plane" was so appropriate (see subject) lol My mom and Barb helped me get dressed and I felt uber spiffy lol I wore my black cargo capri-ish pants, my red No Doubt t-shirt and my red & black striped over the knee socks. I had to accessorize and stuff so I wore my Tink, spikey wristband and my rockstar shades! Wooo!!
We left the house around noon and got to Tripler a bit early so we(mom Barb and I) decided to go up to ICU A and visit my peeps! We passed by this group of people talking by the vending machines and I heard a voice that sounded so familiar...I was like MARYJANE!! She's a really sweet lady that used to work as the ICU A receptionist. She's a nurses aid now I think. She attacked me with kisses lol Awww!
We made our way into the ICU and I totally got flashbacks. I wanted to go into my old room, but I didn't say anything because I know I would've started bawling lol Anyway, Angela was there. She took care of me a few times...she's my age so it was pretty cool and she's a sweetheart. It was her last day and I frickin forgot to ask for her email! My Leigh Ann was there too!! She came running up to me and was like "Jeniii *mwah* I was just telling my patient about you....he does the eyebrow thing that you do to answer yes lol" How awesome! lol
We didn't stay too long because they were getting ready for a new patient and stuff. As we were leaving, I saw hot Dr. Joe, but I was invisible to him...what a turd! lol He's so hot though *giggle*
Got to the ENT clinic. My mom was checking me in when Dr. Cable (Dr. Cutie) came walking by and was like "Hey Jenivie...how are you? I'll see you inside in a few minutes." He was holding a Mountain Dew lol That wasn't really important, but it looked so good and I wanted it...
Anyway, we didn't have to wait too long which was awesome because waiting can make a girl go crazy lol The nurse got me all set up in a room.and Barb was telling her how badly I wanted to see down the scope. She got to see last and I was like "NOT FAIR! What did it look like?" lol I was determined to see it this time....Barb even brought my mirror...wee!! The nurse got the scope cam all set up and faced the monitor towards me so I could see. I was so excited that I didn't even get all freaked out. While we waited for Dr. Cutie to come in, one of his students introduced herself...she was sweet. Her name was Phuoc Nguyen...funny how I can remember that, no? She totally guessed what one of my all time favorite movies was.."The Princess Bride" w00t!! She did a really good job distracting me. I usually have time to cry for a bit, but I guess I'm starting to get used to all the anticipation or whatever. I told my mom that I wanted her to watch and you know what? She did!! My dad still can't watch...he's a wuss, but it's understandable...he says it hurts him to see me in pain. How did he say it? Oh "It hurts my heart to see my baby in pain"....awwww *hurl* lmao
Frickin finally, Dr Cutie came in...I can't remember what was said because I was too busy um...frick whats the word I'm looking for?? Eh I'll just use me and Barb's term...lusting LOL We rawk. The good thing about RT's and ENT doctors: they have to get all up in your face!! It's like hellooo!! Dr. Cutie was really awesome about letting me see down my trach...he gave me a tour lol "The two black holes are your whatchamacallits(I know what they're called...it just sounds funnier that way) and you can see a little bit of mucus, but it looks great...see the tissue is nice and pink. Alright lets hook her back up before we get started. Give her a couple breaths." The cool thing was I totally forgot that I was disconnected lol I was breathing on my own!
After I took in a few deep breaths, it was time for the trach change. Barb disconnected me and Dr. Cutie was like "Ok a little tug here..you ok?" *POP* It came out and I started coughing and blood started oozing. "Alright lets suction her..you can cough Jeni it's ok" Barb suctioned out the blood and I thought to myself "ooh pretty red" lol I'm weird...deal with it!
"Ok lets dab some silver nitrate there..do we have the mirror so she can see the stoma?" Barb held it up and I got to see it!! The hole was the size of a dime...it was cute lol When I was done looking...it was time for the new trach. It was like "IN COMING!!" He had to push a little hard...I just gritted my teeth and BAM it was in. "Ok Jen breathe...you're all done" *sigh of relief* I was so glad it was over, but I forgot to do somethng while the trach was out. I wanted to yell my favorite word of all time....FRICK!! Dangit...I'm so doing it next time. lol
"It wasn't too bad, was it? I wasn't too bad, was I?" I was like no it was ok. lmao That sounds funny *giggle* So yeah, we hung out for a bit just to make sure I was ok and stuff. I didn't want to leave lol Dr. Cable is so dreamy lol
Hmm...I think thats it. I probably forgot something lol Whatever...I got all the fun important stuff down.
I'm outtie! I need a shower lol Laters.
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| You never call me when you're sober... |
[ | |
8/8/06 - 8:08 am
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| [ |
mood |
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 okay |
] |
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music |
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-Evanescence, Call Me When You're Sober |
] |
Ask me how many times I've watched the new Evanescence video...lol I was so eager to see it on Saturday, so I went searching on YouTube and found it! They took them all down because of the RIAA or some shite lol I've been watching it on MTV2 over and over and over. It's beautiful as frick!!! lol Marc Webb is awesome.
Ok that is all...just had to get some fangirlism out of my system lmao Later!
P.S. THE ALBUM COVER IS GLORIOUS!!! Nikki and I want her dress even if we have to kill her to get it lol Amy Lee is my idol. <3
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| I'm not the carefullest of girls |
[ | |
8/4/06 - 11:49 am
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mood |
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hot |
] |
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music |
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-Roisin Murphy, Ramalama |
] |
I broke out of this insane asylum on Wednesday!! I had so much fun...my goal was to see Pirates 2 and frickin a I loved it! Johnny Depp is the man...he stole the whole show! I can't wait for the dvd...!! EEE!! Barb and Candice had already seen it so they got to see it again lol Candice didn't like it the first time so she slept a little while I was laughing my arse off. lol
The manager of the theater was very accomodating....why can't it be like that wherever I go?? Like say...I dunno...the PIPELINE CAFE!? Dangit...all the bands that I love perform there...it's not cool! The All-American Rejects and She Wants Revenge....gahh someone shoot me lol
Anyway, back to my prison break. We went gallavanting around Mililani Town Center and took over the place! We went into Jeans Warehouse...it was the only clothing store...I mean unless Price Busters has clothes lmao I saw so many pretty shirts that could totally pull off a "gothy" look, but I didn't buy any of them. I did get some uber nifty shades for 5 bucks! LOL SCORE!! I should take a pic with them on, no? lol I also got some pretty bloody/burgandy shiney nail polish because I'm in need of a major manicure. My nails grew so much and my black polish pretty much looks like I have black french tips lol
It's so hilarious looking at underwear with Barb and Candice lol I thought I was the crazy one...maybe I rubbed off on them? lol I almost died laughing when Candice pulled out the hugest bra I had ever seen!!! "Here Jeni..this will fit you...you have bigger boobs than I do" lmao *ahem* Correction: a bigger boob. lol I'm not even going to explain that one =x lol Barb pulled out these hot pink swanky lace panties. All I have to say is they frickin looked painful as frick lol
After Jeans Warehouse, it was off to the pet store to see puppies!! When we got to the window...there were 2 huge white birds looking at me and Candice said "Look Jeni...they wanna eat you" lol I was scared so we went inside to look at the other pets. I like fish lol I was in Beta fish heaven. They were all so beautiful, but 2 of them stood out to me. One was yellow and had purple streaks in his pretty flowy tail and the other one was a shiney teal, green red and streaks of white. I wanted to get them so badly, but I don't have room for them. Fin would so beat them up lol He's a crazyarse, but I adore him so much! I wish I could find him a girlfriend lol As we were leaving, there were 2 cute doggys outside and I got to pet them. I even got a doggy kiss lol It was so cute!
We decided to head over to Border's to look through books on tape. I want to find Romeo & Juliet so I can memorize it. That's one of my goals...I want to be able to quote Shakespeare without looking it up. Maybe once I get that done...I'll memorize some of his other works. We'll see! They didn't have any Shakespeare =\ boo! Candice is gonna try and see if they have any at the bigger Borders. I hope they do!! We looked at some dream dictionaries...Barb opened one pretending to look up one of my dreams and said "Oh it says here...Jeni is weird" lol Good times.
Yeah so my dad called Barb's cell to see where we were and he came to meet up with us. That meant it was time to go home..meh! Candice zoomed me all the way to the van and at one point I got disconnected from the vent, but Candice plugged me back up and continued zooming like crazy! Weeeee!! We got to the van and she lett me go....I was "rollin' down the street" and BAM!! a white car came creeping around the corner and Candice bolted me back out of the way! I ALMOST WENT SPLAT!! It was pretty funny...the car wasn't going fast or anything...it was more like um...ok here: "your mama is so stupid she got hit by a parked car" lmao That's the only way I can explain it lol
We got home and I was frickin tired. Yup that was my funfilled day....I wanna do it again =)
Right...I'm out. I need a shower lol Laters.
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| It is a Thursday, I got up early, It is a challenge I'm usually lazy |
[ | |
7/27/06 - 10:43 pm
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mood |
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sleepy |
] |
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music |
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-The Dresden Dolls, First Orgasm |
] |
Today was the last day that Mike (physical therapist) will be working with me. I was just starting to like open up to him, but eh Barb and I already know what needs to be done. It's the 'rents who have no idea what to do....that annoys me to no end! I know my dad was the one who talked to Dr. Mulreany to order PT for me. He, of course, did this without telling me..frick! The whole purpose of having a therapist come every week, is to teach my family how to do my stretches and stuff, but did my 'rents bother to watch and learn?? Heck no...ugh.
Anyway, last Thursday was pretty cool. I got up in my chair again! It was the same routine and stuff except my dad attached the vent to my chair. That gave me a lot of freedom to drive all over the place...w00t! I was so afraid that I wouldn't remember how to drive, but it was like I never stopped! I zoomed out of the door and tried to run my dad over lol That would've been so priceless...too bad Mike was around lol Yeah, he touched my boob again lol geez! So I drove like a maniac....Barb had to chase after me. Good times. I went out on our street and zomed back in the garage...I didn't want to be seen. I saw my reflection in our sliding glass door and I felt like crying....I look so scary. Now guys would definately be all scared to approach me. I know it's hard for people to understand these medical conditions, but staring doesn't help. lol Anyway, I was outside in my chair for 2hrs!! Big jump from 30mins to 2hrs!! My next goal is 4hrs and I'm working on getting up every other day, then eventually back to sitting up everyday like I used to...
In other news....ignoring Finees (my crush) actually paid off!! He called MEyesterday to see if it was ok to come and hang out. I freaked out like a teeny. I missed him so much!! It was like 9pm when he finally arrived. He brought along his friend, Angel and awww he was a sweetheart. They both had me cracking up in 2mins flat. Fin gave me a kiss on the cheek and hugged me....I melted aand frickin sniffed him....yum!!
I would love write out our convo, but I'm tired as frick. I'll edit this entry and add more Fin details later <3
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| Time for some fangirl time lol |
[ | |
7/19/06 - 8:22 pm
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mood |
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ecstatic |
] |
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music |
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-Evanescence, Surrender |
] |
I saw the trailer for "The Open Door" on FUSE today!!! I peed myself lmao I'm so excited to hear and see the video for their first single!!! *squeal* It's going to be GLORIOUS!!
I'm talking about EVANESCENCE!!!
OCTOBER 3RD OCTOBER 3RD OCTOBER 3RD OCTOBER 3RD OCTOBER 3RD OCTOBER 3RD OCTOBER 3RD OCTOBER 3RD OCTOBER 3RD OCTOBER 3RD OCTOBER 3RD OCTOBER 3RD OCTOBER 3RD OCTOBER 3RD OCTOBER 3RD OCTOBER 3RD!!!
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| So you don't wanna hear about my good day? |
[ | |
7/18/06 - 8:21 pm
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mood |
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 good |
] |
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music |
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-The Beatles, I Me Mine |
] |
Ok the point of this entry....I LOVE MY BARB (wire) lol It's like she knew I was having a crappy weekend because she brought movies and snacks for us today. We've been watching her set of the Thorn Birds on VHS since last week....well, until my VCR started effing up. So Barb brought her VCR from home and we totally watched the 3rd part today. BTW, Can I just say HOLY MOTHERR!! lol
Before we got into all the fun...Barb totally surprised me with the really cute Tinkerbell watch that I wanted from....where? Hot Topic! lol Yay! She said she was so happy and proud that I did so well the day I sat up in my chair. I'm still wearing my Tink and it's so beautiful *pets it* Oh this is what it looks like CLICK ME, BEYOTCH lol
I totally pigged out today on cookies, Sprite and hot boys! Weee!! Good times.
Oh!! I'm definately loving "Smile Again" (Kdrama). Barb is hooked *giggle and victory dance*
Sorry if my entry is all over the place...the 'rents are watching "Cellular" and Chris Evans is distracting me =D
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| Frickety Frick FUCK |
[ | |
7/17/06 - 1:00 pm
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| [ |
mood |
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 frustrated |
] |
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music |
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-KoRn, Bottled Up Inside |
] |
Why do I always have to fight with my mom over stuff I want to buy with my money??!! I hardly ever ask for new clothes and when I do she's like "how are you gonna wear that? You can't wear that blahblahblah" So is it a rule that if you're in a wheelchair you can't wear cool stuff that you like?? It must sound like I'm over-reacting, but it's always so hard to be myself if I'm dressed like a prep which is whatt my mom puts on me...I can't even fight her off. I give up on fighting to try to be myself.
/end emo shit
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| I did it! |
[ | |
7/14/06 - 10:19 pm
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| [ |
mood |
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accomplished |
] |
| [ |
music |
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-AFI, Kiss & Control |
] |
I was super tired to update yesterday so yeah...I'm doing it now lol I'll try to keep it short because 1) I'm lazy and C) I don't want to bore you guys...
So I got into my body brace or corset (sounds prettier lol) at 9am and waited for Mike (physical therapist) to arrive. I started to cry a little....I guess all the mental preparations finally caught up to me. I think I was scared and kind of excited/happy after everything that has happened because well....I'd be getting back into one of the most important things in my life. I'm slowly getting back to my old self...just with more stuff attached to me.
Anyway, it was 9:30am when Mike finally got here. Barb, Mike, my dad and I talked about the plan to get me in my chair. Everything has to be planned out in steps...especially when it comes to lifting me out of bed and even more so now that I'm on a vent. So everything was in position...the plan was to disconnect me from the vent, lift me out of bed, sit me in my chair, move me closer to the vent and hook me back up. It sounds like a lot, no? Oh...I wasn't too worried about my breathing because I know I can do it on my own for at least 8mins. I probably could've gone longer with my adrenaline pumping and stuff. I didn't need to though...everything went so fast! It was like...1,2,3 disconnect 1,2,3 lift 1,2,3, sit 1,2,3 move 1,2,3 hook up and BAM!! I was sitting in my chair!! SCORE!
My dad has to make a few adjustments to my chair because I think I grew in the past 11months lol Maybe a little taller? lol I don't know, but it felt so good to be up...I was such a stupidhead to be so worried and shite.
There was a lot of poking and moving me about the chair lol At one point, Mike practically um...copped a feel...if you will lmao He didn't realize it because he was trying to show my dad where to add more support AND to help me find my um...comfortableness. Is that a word? LOL Whatever...you get what I mean lol I, of course, giggled and mouthed to Barb he's touching my boob... lmao Again....WHY COULDN'T HE BE YOUNGER AND HOT??!! lol
Anyway, I was up in my chair for only 30mins because Mike had to leave and the 'rents were going out. They didn't want to leave Barb alone...it's much more safe to have backup peeps just in case, you know? Yeah, so I was back in bed...started crying like a beyotch from a little pain and just feeling relieved that I did it...that we did it! Mike was really sweet...he didn't ask me why I was crying. He just grabbed a tissue, stood next to my bed and wiped my tears. He said something really sweet, but I can't frickin remember!! I'll have to ask Barb lol
Yupyupyup!! So it is done. I'm doing it all over again next week Thursday and I'm doing it until I'm able to sit up long enough to go out. Slowly, but surely...
Alright...I'm off to bed now.
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